six months in and all is about as well as can be expected

Today is the official six month mark for my sobriety. I still dream about drinking and doping when I’m asleep, but when I’m awake the thought of it repulses me.

It has dawned on me, yet again, that I’m not getting any younger and that if I want to take another crack at this life thing, there’s never been a better time. With that in mind I’ve decided to take a leave of abscensce from Cracked Head Blog. I’ve grown weary with it. Additionally I think it makes it easier for me to stay comfortably isolated because of the great comraderie. I’m a natural loner and must resist the daily temptation to exist exclusively in a little world I at least partially control.

I’m not sure how long the break will last. Maybe a week. Maybe 10 years. I imagine I’ll want to update periodically just in case any of you are curious as to how and what I’m doing. As long as I’m doing something, I’ll consider it tremendous progress, and indeed something of a miracle.

Should you want to contact me, you know how. I’m sure I’ll be in touch with some of you, either via email or your comments. With the possible exception of my affiliation with Alcoholics Anonymous, I’ve never known a finer group of folks than you my readers. To borrow a thought from the Big Book, I hope to meet some of you as we trudge the road of happy destiny.


24 Responses to “six months in and all is about as well as can be expected”

  1. 1 paisley August 3, 2008 at 6:24 am

    don’t blame you a bit,, we all need a break.. and i do believe it has contributed to my ability to isolate for so long,,,,, however in my case,, isolation is a vast improvement as i seem to get myself into to much chaos every time i venture into the real world… keep in touch if ya feel like it…..

  2. 2 titaniumrose August 3, 2008 at 8:02 am

    Congrats on making it to 6 months! You’re making terrific progress!

    I have to say I’m going to miss reading your blog everyday. I hope we can keep in touch as I do consider you a “blogger buddy.”


  3. 3 misterbooks August 3, 2008 at 9:04 am

    With coffee in hand, and blurry morning eyes, you bring me happiness at your 6 months, and genuine sadness (and understanding) on the blog break. On my breaks, I’ve lasted I think a week….could of lasted more.
    Please keep in touch. You’ve not only made alot of friends on here, but have been a gracious blogging host and introduced alot of us to each other, for which we are also grateful.
    Keep the chin up, and make some tunes, and of course,

  4. 4 GentlePath August 3, 2008 at 9:33 am

    I’m going to miss the updates too. In the short time I’ve been reading your blog, I find I’ve come to care about how you’re doing. It’s like a success for one is a success for all. And 6 months is a success!

    We meet all kinds of friends when we’re trudging the road of happy destiny. Thanks for sharing your story, your experience, strength and hope.

  5. 5 Bottlecappie August 3, 2008 at 11:09 am

    Yo, greybeard – Nobody likes a quitter!

    Just kidding.

    I understand the need for a break. I hope you find the connections you need in meatspace.

    I’ll email you too, if you want. Your support has meant more to me than you probably know.

  6. 6 Angry Ballerina August 3, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    But…..What about me????

    (Congrats old man, will miss you very much)

  7. 8 Marissa Miller August 5, 2008 at 4:12 pm

    I wish you all the best, Greybeard!

    And please do check in every now and then to let us know how you are.


  8. 9 Arkay August 9, 2008 at 2:56 pm

    Looking to be here for your one year anniversary too. Really well done old man. Look forward to whatever you deem share worthy with us – maybe one of your songs being recorded even :)

    Take care,

  9. 11 misterbooks August 9, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    A song would be great

  10. 12 thestranger August 11, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    Being a loner certainly seems like the best way to be… enjoy your break!

  11. 13 misterbooks August 12, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    “Should you want to contact me, you know how. I’m sure I’ll be in touch with some of you, either via email or your comments.”
    Hey bud….I’m holding you to this……..

  12. 14 patientanonymous August 18, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    Take care baby…misterbooks just let me know. I’ve been crazed and sick–even seized a little over 24 hours before my Sleep Deprived EEG today.

    Anyway, like others said…six months is awesome. Come by and see me or email me at any time okay my blogging buddy.


    And sure…take a break for a short while, a long while…you never know. Just do what feels right and good for you.

  13. 15 beartwinsmom August 21, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    Hey… we miss you here. Please let us know how you’re doing!

  14. 16 etta August 26, 2008 at 9:17 am

    As a fellow “trudger” on the road to happy destiny…CONGRATULATIONS!! Six months is a great achievement. When you make it to one year, I’ll send you our group’s specially minted one year medallion. It was an extremely rewarding moment for me, I’d love to pass mine on to you. Take good care of you on your break. I’ll look forward to reading your updates. You are always in my thoughts…

  15. 17 beartwinsmom September 2, 2008 at 1:48 pm

    Greybeard…. I’m NOT going to leave you alone until you update us on what the hell is going on with you. We’re worried because it’s been almost a month. Granted, I know you wanted to take a break, but for the love of Pete, PLEASE let us know how you’re doing.

  16. 18 Arkay September 4, 2008 at 5:24 pm

    Ok, i’ve raised the funds, now I’ve got enough to sick Angry on you…

    this is your only warning that way…

  17. 19 Arkay September 8, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    Ha. It worked. According to a (very) recent e-mail from my huntress Angryballerina “Old Man Cranky Ass River” seems to be doing well and for all concerned lets us know he’s still alive.

    my relief is palatable.

  18. 21 beartwinsmom September 15, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    We still miss you, Greybeard.

  19. 22 beartwinsmom September 24, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    Knock, knock… is anyone home?

  20. 23 rick mobbs October 6, 2008 at 8:49 am

    Okay, so where are you now?

  21. 24 beartwinsmom December 2, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    Hey buddy, if you’re still out there, please email me. I miss you more than words can describe.

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If you're interested in reading a fairly detailed account of addiction and depression, Cracked Head Memoirs might be for you. It basically tells how it was and what happened. Writing it helped me go from active addiction to recovery yet again.

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