roller coaster

I perked back up when the sun started to sink. Not way up. I watched almost two hours of television. Beats cussing and tossing and turning. Now that it’s getting on towards bed time I’m feeling good to go for another couple of hours. Oh boy.

Tomorrow the hospice nurse comes to check out Grandmama, who is doing pretty good still. When you’re 93 I don’t think it gets better than pretty good. I’m 46 and it rarely does for me even now. Not really. Sort of. I don’t know.

Do your ever have one of the those moments when, out of the blue, you wonder “what in the fuck do I think I’m doing?” For some reason, as I sat basking in the tube’s warm glow, it just hit me in the head like a ball-peen hammer that I’m 46 and spending most of my waking hours trying to learn to sing. It’s passed off now but for a minute it was almost like I was normal and could see just what a ridiculous little bastard I am. Gotta love those brief moments of clarity.


1 Response to “roller coaster”

  1. 1 ozymandiaz July 23, 2008 at 6:41 am

    I don’t know if one HAS to love those moments.
    That questions creeps into my head just about every time I come to work though.

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