rudy still hovering. life goes on

Rudy called this afternoon. Wanted me to know one of his old whores has been evicted and he’s had to take her in. Whore number one probably won’t like it, but he will. He likes arguing with them almost as much as screwing and beating them. He told me he’s been drunk for 3 weeks straight. I told him he was off by 29 years and 49 months. One day before too long I expect he’ll tell me he’s been to emergency room with some sort of pain and they’ve sent him home with morphine and instructions to put his affairs in order. Lots of miles on that vile little bastard.

I pigged out at supper tonight. If I’m under 170 on my Sunday morning weigh in it’ll be something of a miracle. Actually I’ve done pretty well considering the steroids. Unfortunately with my build and metabolism it doesn’t take too many slips to pork up really fast. I’m lucky that my appetite is relatively easy to control when not medicated. Anyway, I’d like to be in the 150s by the end of the summer. Not sure why I’ve settled on that number. Maybe since I’m pushing 50 being in the 150 will make things easier to keep track of.

I can’t keep track of shit anymore. I even make lists and use the calendars available to semi-techie sort such as myself. I simply can’t remember from minute to minute what the fuck I’m doing or have done. It’s really frustrating because for years, and in spite of heavy substance abuse, I had a freakishly good memory. Almost photographic, at least some of the time. Not no mo’. I print off two or three copies of the same lyrics because I can’t recall having done it a few minutes or hours earlier. The only way I’ll ever remember them is if I listen to them apart from practice so my subconscious can get a hold of them. Mind mostly gone. Good riddance.

Anyway, the weekend is upon us. I’m unusually glad. My mom will be here to help with Grandmama and I can fuck off like I’m so good at doing. I think I’ll do some shit in the yard is the weather allows this go round. I need to do whatever I can to burn calories. My last steroid pill is Sunday night. I don’t know how long the affects will linger. Hopefully not long. The good thing is that I have the energy, for a change, to actually do some of the things I need to do. If I can just remember what they are …


1 Response to “rudy still hovering. life goes on”

  1. 1 GentlePath June 20, 2008 at 10:23 pm

    don’t you mean relaxing? you’re so rough on yourself. :) relax a little!

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