new axe

Bought a guitar this morning. The shrink gave me the push. I think I wore her out yesterday with my ultra-silly-inability-to-decide-anything mode. Anyway, I’d decided to look in the ultra- inexpensive mode. My thinking was that if things go well, I can get more guitar pretty much anytime I want it. The sell Martins and Taylors right up the street. I was very pleased that I actually got a decent guitar and for just $199.00 bucks. I bought a nice gig-bag and got out of there for $326 bucks and some change.

I’ve been playing most of the afternoon. I’m focusing on chords in as much as my plan is to first and foremost accompany my singing on guitar. Big strings (.012) and chords are killers on soft fingertips. I’ll develop calluses over the next week, then they’ll peel off as a deeper, almost permanent set develops beneath them. Once the deeper, harder ones take, it would take months, maybe even years for me to loose them should I quit paying. There’ll be plenty of discomfort for the next couple of weeks inasmuch as I’m incapable of just playing an hour or so a day while waiting for the fingertips to toughen. I’ve been addicted to playing for 31 years now. I was in remission for a time but it’s already full-blown after just a few hours.

They guy I bought it from has been a local fixture for years now. He knows an old friend of mine and we talked about him for a minute. It always makes me feel inferior somehow to hear about this fellow’s exploits. He managed to get a chemical engineering degree while working full-time. Has a nice wife and a guitar collection that easily runs to half-a-million bucks. Actually I haven’t seen it in 15 years. There’s no telling how much it’s worth now because he started making real money (as an engineer) after I’d gone off the deep end and runway to Big Town. Anyway, Hotshot is in China now working as some sort of freelance engineer. He’s just such a bad-ass and I’m such a clown. Anyway, I guess he didn’t ask to be super-intelligent and well-adusted anymore than I asked to be super-addicted and a borderline-moron. I just always tend to “compare my insides to his outsides” and it makes me feel terrible every time I do. He’s really a great guy and has always encouraged me. Never gave up on me or anything. Shit.

Anyway, his big footsteps aren’t enough to ruin this day. I’m back doing one of the three things I love the most. This is the best day at least since I bought my MacBook Pro. Probably the best since I got the girl (back). Ooo wee.


7 Responses to “new axe”

  1. 1 paisley June 4, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    how excellent!!! i am so happy to hear you sounding and feeling better…. inspired even…

    i also wanted to let you know i got all the photo thing pretty much worked out,,, accept i have to do the manual thing still on the ones that got f*ed up the last time on just paisley….

    thanks for all of the help you gave me,, and i know who to come to now… so you better hide!!!!

  2. 2 titaniumrose June 4, 2008 at 7:31 pm

    Congrats on the guitar! I’m sure you’ll get many hours of enjoyment from it.

    I have a hard time comparing myself to my sister – her life always seems so perfect in comparison. It’s rough, but I have to remind myself that I’m living my life for a reason – I just don’t get to be privy to what that reason is just yet. It’ll all make sense in due time. Hang in there; keep making beautiful music.

  3. 3 Arkay June 4, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    That is so cool. I know I probably read somewhere that you once played, but I didn’t know you were considering taking it up again. What a great thing to have another way to express your creative talents. (Other than as a listener, I am completely musically dis-inclined.)

    lol @ ‘borderline moron’…I certainly don’t think that of you, but I do think maybe we all vacation there a couple of times a year, no? ;)

  4. 4 beartwinsmom June 4, 2008 at 8:13 pm

    SWEET NEWS!!! That has got to be the BEST news all day!!! I can’t wait to hear you play. You will be uploading your music, right? ;-)

  5. 5 misterbooks June 4, 2008 at 9:06 pm


  6. 6 mariacristina June 4, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    Hi, I’ve been keeping up with your latest posts through my reader. The guitar sounds like a great idea. Creativity brings about good feelings for me, and I hope for you too.

    The story about Hotshot is universal, isn’t it? And you tell it with straightforward honesty. Good writing. I bet if Hotshot read it he would be able to call to mind someone who he thinks trumps his accomplishments. And he had to go and be such a good guy, didn’t he?

  7. 7 Greybeard June 6, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    mariacristina— The guitar is working out great. I guess my “lack of participation” in all things musical was a form of self-flagellation. Had the shrinks not pushed me, I doubt I’d have allowed my interest to become nagging.

    The particular hotshot in question really is a super-guy. He has an incredible understanding of who he is. That particular quality is largely absent among almost all my other acquaintances. He avoided the alcohol trap and that’s probably helped as much as anything. He likes weed and diamond dust, but you can’t hold that against a fellow, or at least I can’t. As far as I know it’s never bitten him. Can’t say that about too many people who like cocaine.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

My Other Site

If you're interested in reading a fairly detailed account of addiction and depression, Cracked Head Memoirs might be for you. It basically tells how it was and what happened. Writing it helped me go from active addiction to recovery yet again.

Favs Page

Cool blog posts I've discovered. It's a sort of greatest hits collection.


email me …

crackedheadblog AT G mail DOT com

%d bloggers like this: