long day

Was up at 5 in preparation for Lilly’s operation. She doesn’t take to the “no food or water after 9 pm” routine well. She fretted for about an hour, from 5 until 6, then gave up. Her operation went well. She’s all cut up and will almost certainly be a sore basset hound for a couple of days. She’s flaked out right now. Every hour or so she’ll whine for few minutes but mostly she’s doing alright. It’ll be a long night for both of us though.

I haven’t felt especially well today. My stomach is sort of upset. Whether it’s IBS, gallstones, or just stress is anybody’s guess. I had blood drawn today in preparation for my visit with the surgeon. (I guess that’s why they wanted more blood.) Still hoping the gallstones are what’s been wrong with my back all these years. Having read much more about it, I think there’ s a pretty good chance that it is. What triggers my pain, typically, is certain types of physical activity, and I haven’t run across an example like that yet. If there’s a dietary trigger, I’ve haven’t made the connection. Anyway, I want to get this sorted out ASAP.

Things are pretty good emotionally speaking. I’m pretty tired, but other than that, I guess I’ll survive. A couple times today I noticed I was trying to get obsessed with the recovery. Now that I’m feeling better, and am hopeful that the back pain is about to be dealt with, I want to fix all the shit that’s been broken for years. I need to remember who I am, take little steps, and aim low. Whether I can do that remains to be seen.

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