Giving three dogs a total of five baths, cleaning up the bathroom afterward, washing their towels and bedding, cooking supper, then cleaning up the kitchen constitutes much more than a full day for me these days. Lilly looks terrible. Mercifully she doesn’t seem to feel bad. Regardless, she’s going back to the specialist. I’ll probably haul her big ass to the regular vet tomorrow unless she looks a whole lot better. Hopefully I’ll be more functional, early, tomorrow and can do what I need to where she’s concerned.
I’m spent. Turning in early since I can’t really do much else. I read a little of an interesting novel one of you turned me on to but it’s very busy, character wise, and I’m having trouble keeping them straight. If I turn in now, and can sleep, I’ll have nine and half hours of trap time by 6 am. If I’m in the midst of my little depressive bursts, it won’t matter how much I sleep, it’ll never be enough. Fortunately there just happening two or three days a week right now. I wonder if that’s some facet bipoloar. In past lives when I got depressed it took days or weeks to set in and weeks, months, or even years to run it’s course. Do people go from clinically depressed to bipolar? Do I even remember the past correctly? Shit.
From what I’ve read, bipolar cycles get shorter as the disease progresses, left unchecked this ends with continual rapid-cycling. But, if you’ve never really had a true manic episode, you might just be misdiagnosed. I was labeled with the bipolar type-2 hypomanic diagnosis for a few years, until I fired my doctor and convinced my new one that my swings in mood were hormone and medication related. I’m just glad that the worst thing they threw at me was Lithium, and beign young I survived that ok.
I’m sorry that you’re still struggling so much, and for what seems like not a huge payoff. It’s weird, we’re so alike in so many ways, I almost wish I could give you some of my Suboxone to see if it would take away your depression like it did mine. Sometimes I think getting hooked on pain-pills was the smartest thing I ever did – since the cure for the addiction inadvertently cured my depression.
Give your doggies a hug and a smooch from me. I’m rootin for ya still. I really want us all to make it home.
I’m sorry things are tough right now. Totally sucks! Hang in there, and I’ll say a prayer for ya’!
i am a rapid cycler as well, i can have several a day. my husband loves it when i do that!! take care!!
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