Addy over at All that I am, all that I ever was has posted
Signals and Signs of Potentially Suicidal Behavior. Quite frankly I have mixed feelings about suicide. I’ve thought about it. I’ve even made some half-hearted attempts. Still, it would be a shame for someone to kill themselves if there’s even a chance they might get better, and there’s always a chance. (I survived the tough times when I couldn’t see the light at the end of tunnel. Most folks probably do, if they don’t kill themselves.) Addy notes in his post how uncomfortable people are talking about suicide. He’s right of course. I’m not even comfortable with this post. I’m publishing it anyway.
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In the bad old days when suicide seemed an option, what stopped me was the notion that suicide was a coward’s way out. And I was god-damned if I was going to leave “Chickenshit” as my legacy and epitaph.
OK, being afraid of pain, and of fucking up and living with permanent brain damage helped stand it off too. But oddly enough, the first was more powerful.
Luckily, age seemed to give me some perspective. Eventually you realize that no matter how bad it feels right then, you live through it. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but it IS more tolerable. And it’s over with quicker because you know that it WILL pass.